No Need To Clean – My Kid Will Lick The Floor

Call me psycho but I’m the type of person who always washes their hands before every meal. I never drink from anybody else’s cup or take a bite from my friends’ sandwiches. It’s because I think it’s gross.

So imagine my delight when I saw my 7-month-old happily licking the floor. Not touching it with her lips – licking! Thank God it was the kitchen floor and not the Grand Central Station’s pavement. I tell her “NO”, but I think that only make it even more exhilarating for her.

I live in a small town – everybody knows everybody else and everybody wants to know everybody else. So when you are a new arrival, you know – like a 3-day-old – everybody comes up to get to know you, and to smile at you and to caress your little hand and to kiss you. It’s people’s way of showing their kindness. It people’s way of driving me crazy.

When one lady whom I didn’t even know came up to my baby and kissed her hands I almost lost it. Doesn’t she know that babies keep shoveling their little hands in their mouth! And if she kisses them, she’s infecting my baby with her germs! Jesus.

I always have these disinfecting wipes with me and I wipe my kid every 5 minutes.

Then there’s the family. You know – the extended family. There’s one aunt so in love with my baby that she has to kiss her from head to toe when she sees her. Every time. And I am screaming inside when I see it. And I wash my baby from head to toe when I get back home.

Now let’s try to be a little less psycho-bitchy and a little more objective.

Is my baby happy? Yes.

Is she healthy? Yes. As healthy as a fish in crystal clear waters.

So I guess modest floor-licking and hand-kissing built up her immune system.

And mine.


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Categories: Baby Manual, Humor

Author:Alinka Rutkowska

Alinka is a best-selling and award-winning Children's Author.


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