This is my first letter to my baby girl and I am so glad I wrote it as part of touchstonez Letters to Littles monthly project. I’m happy I transformed my thoughts into words partly because this is the last month my baby is still in the womb and partly because it just felt so good to write this down. It was easy to do, much easier than I thought, it was so easy because it came from the heart.
I am writing this letter while waiting in the hospital for my doctor’s appointment in my 36th week of pregnancy. I must admit that I loved all the visits I had and my favorite part was seeing you on the screen as you were jumping up and down or sucking your thumb. Just a minute ago you had another series of hiccups, which you have two or three times a day to the delight of family and friends who can then really feel you. I feel you very often anyway even though you are no longer kicking like you used to from the beginning of week 18 – you are now wriggling and turning and it’s such a delight to feel it. There were a few weeks when you were really squeezing my lungs and I could hardly breathe but that was a very short period and it was nothing in comparison with what many pregnant mothers go through.
My pregnancy with you has been a delight. We were trying for 3 months before we conceived and we really wanted you but when I first performed the home pregnancy pee on the stick test and found out it was positive I burst into tears – I don’t know why. I just did. Then I couldn’t wait to tell your daddy but I had to wait all day because we were cruising at the time and he was working, and of course I wanted the announcement to be special. In the evening when we were in bed I told him I had news – I was pregnant. He was shocked but very happy. Actually he suspected that I was pregnant before I even took the test because I suddenly didn’t want to eat the chocolate coated strawberries which I used to love and demanded every day. I myself was also freaking out several weeks before the test looking up all the possible weird early pregnancy signs on the internet. But I didn’t have any. Actually I didn’t have any signs except for longer sleeping hours until way into my 3rd trimester. Only once I remember I felt weak in the sauna which now I think might have been a sign.
You’ve been a wonderful baby in the belly, which by the way started showing well after I (or rather you) completed 5 months. You gave me no problems at all except for a brief period of acid reflux, cough and vomit but I did some research and found out that apples are great way to prevent this. So now I am religiously eating one or two apples a day and feel wonderful!
WE CAN’T WAIT
I can’t wait for you to come to the world, although I want you to be a full term baby, which you will be in only 10 days. This is also when your daddy comes home and I really want him to be present at your birth – both to support me and so that you see each other in the first minutes of your life. Do you know that when I asked your dad what the most wonderful thing in his life was, he said it was the moment he found out I was pregnant with you. And he speaks with you every night even though he is away. I put him on the loud speaker, and place the phone near my belly – but you know that!
We bought so many cute little outfits for you. I remember that at the beginning everybody thought you were a boy. I even performed a home gender prediction test, which confirmed that, but I didn’t want to buy anything until I knew for sure. Even though everybody expected a boy, I suspected you might turn out to be a girl. We found out in Aruba – the doctor doing the scan said: “Can you see the hamburger?”. I didn’t get it at first. Then he said you were a girl – 100% and that you were a happy baby as you were sucking your thumb Right after that I bought you your first girly shirt – pink and not white or yellow like we would purchase before. That was the first of soooo many outfits we got you and when we told the family in Italy we were having a girl the whole village started preparing clothes for you – now you have so many I don’t even know if you’ll be able to wear them all!
So now I’m waiting for another ultrasound and I am at the hospital, in which I plan on giving birth to you. I am actually typing these words in a pretty spacious room, not very light but with a very pleasant atmosphere. I am sensing good vibes. You know what this room is? It’s an ex nursery. It used to be full of newborns and I’m sure it’s their good vibes that I’m feeling.
COME WHEN YOU’RE READY
I’m planning on a water birth for you, I prepared a list of songs I want to play when you will be born, I will breastfeed you and I am so happy we will be rooming in immediately as this is the hospital’s policy here. I can’t wait to hold you in my arms. I know I will be a great mother – I can feel it. And I know you will be an exceptional baby, child and adult, partly because of your wonderful mix of genes (well done with the choice of parents!) and partly because of the way we will raise you. You will be exposed to various environments as a baby of parents of two different nationalities and fond travelers but most of all, you will be exposed to a lot of love. You are so loved already: by myself – your mama, by papi, by your grandparents, aunts, uncle and cousins. We can’t wait to see you but mama knows you will come when you see fit, so take your time, grow and come out when you’re ready. Your head is close to the exit.
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